Robertson Tribe Updates

Knock, knock.

“Hello, Mrs. Tong**. (our landlord) How can we help you?” (as I frantically pray that my house is clean, the kids don’t fight, they use their manners and that my hair is combed and my teeth brushed while she’s here, all in one breath).

“Hello, Mrs. Robertson. I am here because of problem with toilet. Downstair. Toilet not working good. Problem. Must have sample of toilet paper. Please get small piece for me. Toilet paper you use. Get for me. Problem with toilet.”

WHAT???? I’m thinking. “Uh, ok. Here ya go.”

“SOME people not using correct toilet paper. Don’t know who. Must use proper kind. Must check all toilet paper in building.”

Yes folks, I have been visited by the toilet paper police. I have yet to know if my toilet paper passed inspection. I’m hoping no news is good news as I am very, very picky about that all important paper.

On a related and somewhat disgusting note, the Chinese do not flush their toilet paper. Often, there isn’t even a toilet, there is only a “squatty potty” so you can’t flush anyway. (That’s another post for another day. If you’re really curious, google Chinese toilet.)There is a trash can next to the toilet and you THROW IT AWAY. Yes. That’s what I said. And yes, regardless of how dirty it is. Let’s all say it together, “EWWWWWWW”.

(Sorry Mom or Martha, if you just read that. It just had to be shared.)

**Mrs. Tong and her husband are retirement age and own multiple buildings in Hong Kong, including our apartment building, obviously. They are well off, but you‘d never know by looking at them. Here clothes are worn, but clean, her hair is always messy, and they live in an older part of town, not where “the money” lives. She will nickel and dime you over everything, yet she belongs to a very exclusive club here in HKG and makes sure people know that. She’s a very demanding, obsessive, difficult judgmental of everything, opinionated and incredibly lonely. She has driven her children away and she and her husband live very separate lives. We have tried to reach out to her and for whatever reason, she likes us. She likes no one else in our building either, as she tells us often. She has been friendly toward us and very helpful, yet she can be quite prickly and uptight about things not done her way.

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