it’s not getting any better
Growing up, I had a friend, J, who was like a sister to me. We both had one other sibling that was much younger than us, so we sort of adopted each other. I knew her family well, including many of her cousins, grandparents, aunts and uncles and she knew many of mine. We hung out together and supported each other through high school (where being a Christian wasn’t cool). She was in my wedding, I was in hers; she’s an honorary aunt to my children, and I love her to pieces. Her dad is now the senior pastor…how cool is THAT?
So why am I waxing nostalgic? Because two hours after I talked to my dear friend who just lost her baby, I got a call telling me that J’s grandfather, “Grump”, died peacefully in his sleep last night. 
I started picturing him and remembering how hard it was for me to call someone “Grump”, 
, and thinking of the family he left behind and how hard this is for them, and then, once again, feeling totally helpless in the face of such tragedy.
Two days ago, I learned that my sister in law’s (who was also a childhood friend before she married into the family, lol) mother has a rare form of cancer that needs to be treated immediately and aggressively if she’s to survive. She just lost her husband to cancer, and is still adjusting to life as a widow.
Another friend, L, is in NC right now, saying goodbye to her mom who is dying of pancreatic cancer, while her family stays here, trying to live life as usual.
My heart is so heavy right now; so many of those close to me are suffering. Going about my day is hard when all I want to do is curl up in my favorite chair, cry and pray for all those around me, yet I have four little ones who need mom to be mom. How much do I shelter them from all this? These are (hard) teachable moments for my kiddos, but I’m not sure I even want to take advantage of them. That seems too hard; too much work; too exhausting. I need strength that only comes from Him.
Life is hard
BUT
GOD IS GOOD.
October 27th, 2006 at 11:49 am
I pray strength for you as you are on this journey. How well I know the pain of loosing a baby. I know there will be two children at the gates of heaven to greet me when I arrive. I will never understand but as I look at my precious Faith I’m reminded without those trials there would have been no Faith in our lives today. God is still…..good!
October 27th, 2006 at 11:54 am
I pray strength for this journey you are on. How well I know this pain your friend is experiencing. I know when I reach Heaven there will be two children there to greet me. I’ll never understand these trials of “many kinds”, but as I look at my precious Faith I know without these trials there would be no little Faith in our lives today. I know He’s still good!
October 31st, 2006 at 4:00 pm
My heart is so heavy for you right now. Typically all these things are manageable but when faced with them one after another, the beat-down starts to take a toll. It is refreshing to see you still believe God is good.. we don’t see enough of that. While praying and trying to teach your children these hard lessons, remember we don’t need to thank God for allowing us to go through the fire, we need to thank God for his faithfulness WHILE we are going through the fire. Powerful stuff! Hang in there, we in TN are praying for you and your friends who are going through their “fires”.
November 9th, 2006 at 2:47 pm
Thanks for sharing your heart Deanne. You are a faithful friend, I thank the Lord for sending you along to share this burden. Your sympathy and compassion are a blessing to each one of us.
I do praise God for this trial (losing Samson); a chance to be better aquainted with His Son who was a Man of Sorrows. Jesus Himself said, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” I have recieved comfort and more from my Father’s hand and my faith is more sure than ever.
Thank you Brenda for your words of comfort. I’m sure Samson is right there with your two little ones praising our Heaveny Father. What a privelege!